Deciding to Work in Your Family Business

When bright, ambitious young people talk about career prospects with a prospective employer, they are typically full of questions about how that company will support their professional growth. But remarkably, the same young people will confess that the prospect of joining their own family business leaves them tongue-tied. In families whose culture has been one of deep respect for those who are in the day-to-day trenches of the business, young family members often worry that asking too many questions might make them seem presumptuous or pushy. We get it. Asking too many questions can seem entitled. But we have seen many family relationships fractured from poor communication at the start of a family business job. This is your career. And your family. Making the wrong decision because you’re afraid to ask good questions can lead to heartache for everyone. You can, however, avoid that fate by working through our basic guidelines for setting yourself up to succeed in your family business.

What is motivating you to join?

You might be interested in your family business for many reasons. We often hear statements like “It’s my best shot at the top,” “It’s a great joy to work with my mother and sister every day,” and “I’m passionate about our family business.” On the other hand, we also hear “Dad expects me to,” or like Megan earlier in the book, you need to join to keep ownership in your branch. How does what you can contribute to your family business compare with what you might bring to any other potential career option? Often, a variety of motivations are in play, but what’s important is that you articulate your own reasons—and ensure that they are compelling enough to make perhaps your single largest career decision.

Are you ready for the commitment?

More than almost any other career choice, joining your family business requires you to be all in. It will not be a nine-to-five job. Your family life and business life will be intertwined. Your personal identity will be more tied to your work than it would be if you go elsewhere. People don’t leave family business jobs easily; the commitment feels more personal. You will probably remain with the company for many years more than if you join another company.

Do you already have significant outside experience?

In most cases, we advise family members to get a college degree and then work in another company for at least three years. Demonstrating to your family business leaders, managers, and employees (and yourself) that you are capable of earning a genuine promotion for your work outside the company helps ensure that you are appropriately valued in (and prepared for) your own family business.

Are the personal relationships among the family leaders healthy enough?

Do you see evidence that the leaders can make good decisions together about the future of the company? Can your own relationships in the family withstand the pressures of working together in the future? If your relationship with your father or mother (or whichever relative owns and runs the business) is not in a good place, joining the business is unlikely to make things better—and, in fact, it could make things much worse.

Is this a real job?

When you come into the family business, make sure it’s for a real job, not one that has been made up for you. You will find your work more valued and your career path clearer if you do.

After you’ve assessed your own motivation, make a point to ask the family business leader what lies in store for you if you do join the business. You have to break the unspoken taboo against “daring” to ask these questions. In chapter 10, we’ll explain in detail how to think about family members’ employment in the business, but here we will stress that you are entitled to know about the business you are joining and where you will fit in. The current owners may not wish to answer every question you have, but many topics are likely to be addressed. Use the five rights of family owners to think through what you need to understand about your family business before joining.

• Is there a path to ownership? (design)
• Who will make decisions about my career? Who decides how much I get paid? (decide)
• What are your goals or priorities as owners over the next ten years? (value)
• What’s your philosophy about sharing information about family ownership and company performance data with family employees? (inform)
• How are you are thinking about succession? Do I have a shot at the top? (transfer)

If you feel uncomfortable asking these questions of the current family leadership, that feeling is a red flag that you might not be ready to join your family business. You can take a dry run by talking with either of your parent’s trusted advisers or the parent who doesn’t work in the business. Ask them directly, “Would you join this business if you were I?” Often, their answers can provide telling clues about both the health of the business and your career prospects under the current leadership. If, after gaining this additional insight, you still can’t approach the family business leaders directly, your reluctance may signal that joining is not the right choice for you. You are entitled to know the structure, rules, and processes that will enable you to be successful in the family business—before you join. Perhaps most important of all is to understand that you will not be able to control everything about your career path in the family business. You can’t always predict how the family will view your work in the long run, whether you’ll thrive in the business, and whether you’ll eventually be offered a top leadership position. The one thing you can control is your own choice of career path. Gather the right information to help you make a wise one.

*Adapted from the Harvard Business Review Family Business Handbook by Josh Baron and Rob Lachenauer. Pages 166-169.