Does Your Family Office Need a Refresh?

Family offices are an enigma. Even foundations struggle to define the role of their single family office. Should you run it with the same vigor as a business or treat it as a concierge service? Are family members the owners, the clients or both? Which services are truly essential, which can be managed with best-in-class third parties and which are just nice perks?

In our experience, world-class family offices share one defining characteristic: They remain relevant as the family evolves. Successful family offices create, evolve and run their family offices to last for generations. They aren’t just managing money; they’re cultivating legacy and serving the family’s purpose for their wealth. And they instill the same discipline, governance and clarity of mission we expect from great family enterprises. Building a family office is, in itself, an act of stewardship to sustain what the family values over time.

But we’ve seen too many well-intentioned family offices atrophy because the decisions they made when setting up the office are never revisited or refreshed to meet the family’s evolving needs. How do trusted advisors help families if their family office is in danger of becoming ineffective?

Red Flags

A few red flags should signal that things aren’t on track to serve the family’s purpose:

• Next generation (Next Gen) walks away. The Next Gen is quietly “voting with their feet.” When adult descendants bypass the family office, quietly hiring their own advisors, moving assets and creating parallel processes, it’s a glaring red flag that the office isn’t meeting their needs.
• Erosion of trust. Whispers of favoritism, opaque decisions or a sense that “the office works for them, not us.” Once trust cracks, the office risks losing its legitimacy as a neutral steward of family wealth and purpose.
• Decision gridlock. Simple choices (for example, about hiring, investments and philanthropy) are bogged down in politics and process. If governance mechanisms become bottlenecks instead of bridges, the family office becomes a battleground.
• Stuck in founder’s era. The office still runs on the founding generation’s playbook (even down to an old-world atmosphere), alienating the rest of the family.
• Endless cost debates. Family conversations about the office focus more on “why are we paying for this?” than on the value being created. When cost scrutiny eclipses pride of ownership, the office has slipped into the category of cost center rather than strategic asset.
• Talent exodus. The key leaders are disengaged or “jumping ship.” If even well-paid, high caliber staff feel underutilized or mistrusted and head for the exits, it’s a clear danger signal of cultural and strategic cracks in the office’s foundation.

If you see these red flags present with a family you work with, it’s time to recommend a family office check-up. By periodically asking a few important questions about purpose, attractiveness and design, advisors can help families ensure their family office remains truly built to last. Here’s how to know if the family is on the track or help them course correct if they’re not getting it right.

Family “Vacation Home”

It may be helpful to envision a family office as a shared vacation home, a cherished place for extended family to gather for shared experiences, yet flexible enough for individual family members to retreat to their own spaces. These properties provide inviting “great rooms” where family members naturally choose to spend time together, a welcoming “kitchen” for casual interactions and a proper “dining room” for formal discussions and decision making. At the same time, they offer comfortable private rooms or wings where each branch of the family can retreat at day’s end.

Like well-loved vacation homes, the most effective family offices are those that owners set out to create with a clear understanding of how it will serve the family both now and into the future. Just as one family might prefer a rustic ski lodge full of outdoor activities while another opts for a serene beachfront estate designed for relaxation, the design of a family office should closely align with the family’s unique purpose and values.

Over time, a vacation home must be flexible enough to accommodate changing needs. What one generation found appealing may need a refresh for the Next Gen. Some shared vacation homes eventually require major expansion, while others simply need a new coat of paint. Others may even be sold to acquire entirely different properties that meet the preferences for the next generation. To stay relevant, every family vacation home benefits from periodic reflection to identify what changes will keep it appealing for the family today.

For a family office to remain an effective “glue” for the whole family, it must be an inviting place that family members want to engage with. In practice, that means providing both shared purpose and individualized support, including common services and resources that bring the family together, along with flexibility to meet individual needs within the overall structure.

Three Questions

Is the family office on track to do this, both now and in the future? We offer three thought-provoking questions for family principals and their family office leadership to evaluate whether their existing family office needs a refresh.

Question 1: What’s the family office’s lived purpose? Why does the family need, not just want, a family office? An effective family office is more than a status symbol, concierge service provider or in-house investment team. Merely providing solid investment returns or bragging rights is insufficient. It should deliver real, tangible value to its principals. There should be a clear reason why a family chooses to maintain a dedicated in-house team rather than rely on a patchwork of elite external advisors. The family has to explicitly define a higher purpose for the family office. And in turn, a great family office lives up to this purpose.

For example, a family with complex shared holdings across multiple nationalities and tax regimes may define their family office’s purpose as “interconnectivity: ensuring we coordinate as needed so that no one jeopardizes the whole.” With this stated purpose, the family office would then hire legal and tax experts to coordinate across multiple family members’ estate plans, ensuring cohesion and heading off potential conflicts. By anticipating and preempting problems, the family office proactively prevents minor issues from becoming major headaches. Likewise, another great family office’s purpose may be “engagement: keeping the family connected with each other, our legacy and our future.” Such a family office recognizes that nurturing human capital is as important as managing the family’s financial capital and may focus on proactively educating and preparing the Next Gen for their future roles, including opportunities within and beyond their business enterprise.

The true test of a family office’s lived purpose is how well it fulfills the family’s unique needs and goals. Whether you’re a family office executive or one of the principals, answering this question requires a high degree of candor. In The Art of Gathering¹, conflict resolution expert Priya Parker, asserts that gatherings should be designed with a “disputable” objective, one that pushes the envelope on traditional templates (for example, a birthday party should be more than assembling guests, a cake, and candles) to create a more meaningful connection. The same applies to designing a great family vacation home or family office. Yes, it’s a gathering place, but for what? For instance, if the office’s stated purpose is “to help family members achieve their personal, business and philanthropic aspirations,” then they should regularly evaluate whether that’s happening through candid conversations.

The family office’s purpose should be more than aspirational or an empty promise; it must be “lived” day to day and appreciated by all generations.

Question 2: Would principals choose to stay? Ask each family member to test whether their family office is bringing enough tangible value: “Would you stay if you were free to go?”

Often, family members who already belong to a family office feel compelled to stay, even if they aren’t fully enthralled with the value they’re receiving, out of a sense of obligation or inertia. They may be concerned about how the social implications of an exit may be interpreted within the family (“do they think they’re too good for us?”) and the practical implications (“can the rest of the family still sustain the family office after an exit? How will this impact fees if we no longer have the same economies of scale?”). Then there’s the natural sense of inertia once you have all of your assets settled in one place. Is it worth the time and effort to make a change?

This can lead principals to feel like captive participants rather than engaged and enthused co-owners. If the barriers to exit were lower, some would willingly choose to disentangle their assets. This is a risky position for family offices. If the positive value a family office brings isn’t significant enough, principals may be more likely to leave as soon as the negative cost of being together increases, for example, if conflict brews among the family over “fair” use of assets, perceived favoritism or simply differences in opinion.

The top family office teams we know recognize that there’s a world of choice beyond the walls of their family office. They’re constantly striving to better meet and anticipate the needs of their principals as clients, ensuring the family office’s positive value contribution is indisputable. The principals of these family offices are well aware they could step out at any time, but as one well-satisfied principal said to us, “I choose to stay at the party because the party is so good.”

Question 3: Is the design built to last? To evaluate and refine the family office’s purpose and aspirations, families must think beyond their immediate needs and wants. It’s not enough to ask, “Are we doing well right now?” A better question to assess your family office is, “Are we building something that will last beyond us?” In our experience working with family offices around the world, we believe true success in a family office isn’t measured by short-term results, but by a longer term horizon. While some family offices fold after a generation or two, those that continue to thrive over time successfully preserve knowledge across generations, such as how to uphold the values that led to earlier generations’ success for future generations’ benefit.

Too often, family offices are nothing more than a bespoke concierge service or a personal passion project for the senior generation. But if that’s all it is, it will likely die with the founder. (Which is fine if that’s what the family wishes but may be leaving some value on the table.) When designing or remodeling a family office, leave room for evolution. Just as a modest vacation cottage may need to expand into a multi-home compound as a family grows, a family office should anticipate change too. In the early years, the office might effectively serve one household; over subsequent generations, it will need to serve many branches of the family, effectively evolving into a multi-family office for a single, extended family.

Over time, the atmosphere and vibe of the family office should also evolve to reflect the current active generations’ style and values, including both the senior and rising generations. Does it still feel like the founder’s office, or does it feel like everyone’s office? We’ve seen a family office built around an ultra-formal, old-world style, Louis XIV chairs and ornate furnishings, which only reflected the senior generation’s taste. The younger family members felt so uncomfortable that they stopped visiting, and the office became a museum piece.

To avoid irrelevance, families should take steps to future-proof their office. Regular maintenance and updates to the family office’s services, team, structure or strategy will bridge the gap between a founder’s vision and the Next Gen’s needs. Even at its most fundamental level, the office’s aesthetic and way of operating should encourage all family members to participate.

But future-proofing isn’t just about making sure the office isn’t outdated. The family should also reflect on their own roles and structural considerations: How does governance evolve over time? Are Next Gen family members encouraged to serve on the family office board to learn how to be effective owners (not just clients)? Are all voices heard and respected? Family members will ultimately vote with their feet: If the family office stays engaging and useful, they’ll use it enthusiastically; if not, they’ll drift away.

By the time the Next Gen comes of age, virtually every single family office has become a de facto multi-family office model, which must now meet the needs of a wider range of clients. The office has more and more owners to align and satisfy. Investing in periodic service refreshes, such as new communication channels or expanded investment vehicles, and strengthening governance along the way helps your family office stay flexible and evergreen, ensuring it remains a source of strength and unity for generations to come.

Valued Shared Asset

Owners should treat the family office as a valued shared asset that requires regular care, thoughtful refreshes and occasional renovations to sustain its vitality. If there’s a chorus of feedback that something isn’t working, like a refrigerator in the family vacation home that never keeps things cold enough, it’s time to fix it. Just as some family vacation homes eventually require major renovations, others may simply need a new coat of paint. Or they may even be sold and the proceeds divvied up to meet the preferences of the next generation.

For a family office to remain meaningful, this might mean revisiting one originally designed primarily as a boutique private equity firm for the founder. The next generation of owners may want to preserve the ability to do private deals but add new investment options that appeal to family members with different risk profiles or liquidity needs. There might also be an opportunity to expand the family office’s services to include bill pay or estate planning. When you start with a strong foundation, there’s more flexibility to evolve the family office as the family evolves. Remember, it’s not necessarily a failure for a family office to change (or even to shutter); the family office will have ‘lived’ its purpose if it truly met the needs of the family principals for a time.

Families need their trusted advisors to occasionally remind them to elevate and reassess if the family office has gotten stagnant or lost its luster and then think through the right path forward. As with any shared asset, world-class family offices need to be thoughtfully refreshed and maintained over time so that their vitality endures for generations to come.

Endnote

1. Priya Parker, The Art of Gathering (May 15, 2018).

Originally published in Trusts & Estates Magazine, May 2026.