Preparing for Life Under the Microscope
Working in your family’s business—whether you are part of the family or you married into it—can bring enormous rewards, but it also carries great responsibility. Even when you and your family have done the right groundwork, you will never be seen as just one of the gang by fellow employees. When your family’s name is on the door, everything you do could be fodder for the office rumor mill. Family business leaders we work with have learned that their actions—positive and negative—are amplified because of their status as owners (or owners-to-be) of the company. Even seemingly small gestures—driving a fancy car to the office, putting photos of themselves with celebrities on social media, or calling themselves an owner in front of colleagues—can unintentionally generate ill will. Nonfamily employees tend to watch family members closely. How you behave will reflect on the full family, for better or worse. You will be “special”; that status is not always an easy thing. And the microscope doesn’t shut down when you leave the business at night. The standard barriers between your work life and your personal life will be blurred, and the scrutiny on how well you are doing will be strong from both sides. Even if you’re on your best behavior, it’s easy to fall victim to some common traps.
Expecting promotions without putting in the work
When family members start at a level that is beyond their qualifications or are promoted much faster than they deserve, other employees are more likely to focus on patronage rather than performance as they look to climb the ladder. Ask for routine feedback on your performance so you have a fair idea of how you are doing—and how you can improve to earn your promotions (see chapter 10 for more details).
Working outside the chain of command to get special treatment
How do you seek approval for your ideas? Do you follow the rules and work as hard as everyone else does? Too often, family members take advantage of their access to senior members of the firm, seeing the rules as malleable and looking for ways around them. Instead, work through the chain of command. Don’t ask for special treatment by relatives in senior positions, and abide by policies for vacation days, expenses, and office hours.
Blurring the boundaries between home and work environments
Office politics in family businesses are further complicated when members bring their family dynamics into the business, potentially enabling employees to pit family members against each other. Family members must set clear boundaries in the workplace, for example, referring to people by name rather than relationship (at work, your mother is “Mary” to you, never “Mom”) and not discussing family drama at the office. These boundaries help set a professional tone. Keep family language there. For family members, boundaries between work and life are more blurred than they might be for any other employee. However much they love and support one another, even the closest family members find it difficult to live and work together all their lives. As one of our clients, the gifted CFO of a large manufacturing company, said when he quit the business, “I can’t continue going through life always being the younger brother.” His identity as a family member undermined his professional growth and effectiveness as CFO. When people cannot be their own person in a family business, the tragedy is that both the family and the business lose out.
Failing to create an identity outside the family business
Business families often have strong ties to the community, and their identity and status are deeply bound up with it. Yet your own identity can be subsumed under the family’s prestige and stature in the outside world. While status confers many advantages, family members need to find a place in society where they can create an identity unrelated to the family. Look for ways to contribute to your community or pursue a personal passion in areas where your family name has nothing to do with what you can contribute. You want an outlet where you can be just Charlie or Eloise, rather than the owner’s son or daughter all the time.
*Adapted from the Harvard Business Review Family Business Handbook by Josh Baron and Rob Lachenauer. Pages 172-174.