Spotlight
Family Conflict
One of the biggest challenges family owners face is finding a constructive way to work through disagreements. As family businesses grow, conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional. Conflict tends to follow a typical pattern — one that can escalate quickly. At the same time, too little conflict can be as destructive as too much. Here’s how your family can learn to navigate these two extremes to find a healthy level of conflict.
01.
Finding the Goldilocks Zone of Conflict
For many families, the fear of conflict is so pervasive they go to extraordinary lengths to avoid it. But fake harmony doesn’t solve problems. In fact, too little conflict can lead to the same destructive outcomes as too much.
02.
The Conflict Spiral: How Conflict Escalates
In family businesses, what starts as a simple disagreement can slowly spiral into an all-out war. Here’s how to recognize where you are in the conflict spiral – and find a more constructive approach instead.
03.
Dealing with a Family Crisis
A family crisis can bring out the best, or worst, in people. To avoid descending into a conflict spiral, you’ll have to address a series of challenging issues, with all options on the table. Here’s how to get the business family back on track.
04.
Strategies to Avoid a Family Feud
One of the most effective ways to deal with conflict is to address issues before they arise with discussions and policies — and recognize the signs that your conflict is escalating so it doesn’t get out of control.
Why does BanyanGlobal say that too little conflict can be as destructive as too much?
Most families are conditioned to avoid conflict in the name of preserving relationships. But in a family business, suppressing disagreement—what BanyanGlobal calls ‘fake harmony’—means that real issues go unaddressed, tensions accumulate, and small problems become large crises. When families avoid necessary conflict, they often discover too late that they have fundamentally different expectations about the business, ownership, or succession. BanyanGlobal helps families find what it calls the ‘Goldilocks Zone’ of conflict: enough constructive disagreement to surface real issues and make better decisions, without the destructive escalation that damages relationships and businesses irreparably.
What is BanyanGlobal's Conflict Spiral?
The Conflict Spiral is BanyanGlobal’s framework for understanding how conflict escalates in family businesses. What starts as a minor disagreement can progress through predictable stages—from surface tension to entrenched positions to irreparable breakdown—if not addressed at each stage. The framework helps families recognize where they are in the spiral, understand what is driving the escalation, and identify the interventions most likely to de-escalate before the conflict reaches a point of no return. BanyanGlobal uses the Conflict Spiral both as a diagnostic tool and as a foundation for designing the governance structures and communication practices that help families manage conflict constructively before it spirals.
How does BanyanGlobal help a family that is already in a serious conflict or feud?
Serious family conflict is one of the most common situations in which families come to BanyanGlobal. The firm’s advisors are experienced in high-conflict family situations—including sibling disputes, branch inequalities, controlling founders resisting transition, and situations involving legal threats or actual litigation. Banyan’s approach begins by understanding each person’s interests and concerns individually, before bringing the group together. The goal is not to achieve artificial harmony but to create conditions for productive conflict: structured conversations where all voices are heard, real issues are surfaced, and the family can make decisions—even difficult ones—in a way that preserves relationships and protects the enterprise.
Conflict is always present in family business owners’ relationships, even if it is not “visible”. Acknowledging and accepting that that is the case is one of the first steps on learning how to manage the conflicts.
Vladimir Barbieri
Partner Emeritus
There’s nothing wrong with your family if you’re struggling with any of these challenges. Rather than assigning blame, focus on how to support each other, as well as what you can learn for the inevitable next time you experience a disruption.
Josh Baron
Co-founder and Senior Advisor
Conflict, by definition, increases as families grow and their interests diverge. The most successful family business owners are those who know how to raise and harness, rather than suppress, their differences.
Nick Di Loreto
Partner
Conflict is natural in a business family. If you are experiencing “fake harmony”, push yourself to have the difficult conversations in a constructive way today. Don’t wait for long-simmering tensions to eventually erupt.
Alison Isaacson
Principal
Well-managed conflict is an essential ingredient for family businesses success. Avoid harmful conflict and fake harmony. Look to build a psychologically safe, but uncomfortable, place to make tough decisions.
Rob Lachenauer
Co-Founder & Partner
Families are often programmed from birth to avoid conflict in the name of preserving family relationships, holidays, etc. Unfortunately, in most cases doing that pushes issues of real important under the rug. Rather than trying to avoid conflict, focus instead on how to manage it. When you do, your family and your business will be far healthier in the long run.
Josh Baron
Co-founder and Senior Advisor
Conflict is natural in family businesses, and often comes from family members having different perspectives. We find that when you foster an environment where individuals can hear and be heard, they generally find common ground and are able to mitigate the type of conflict that can be hurtful or make it hard to come to agreement.
Omar Romman
Partner
It’s inevitable that inequality will develop among business families over time. But what’s not inevitable is how you respond. You can choose to be upset or you can choose to grow.
Ben Francois
Partner
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